Stars above, I do believe I'm sitting here yet again, typing out a blog post and being productive! Every now and then, I simmer on an idea or a thought and then get the urge to chatter away about the things that are floating around. And this thought has been sitting in my noodle a while and waiting to be said - to be typed. So here I am.

The Story.

We all have a story don't we? A book of life that we alone write for ourselves with chapters of past and chapters to come. And we are our own authors of our stories with some plot twists, contributors and editors joining us along the way. Characters who come and go and leave an impression on the readers....villains, heroes and everything in between. We write our books of life and when the words are final, there is no going back. No re-writing the chapters. Of course many would argue that and re-write their stories to make it sound better but that's when it goes from the realm of non fiction to fiction, and that kind of defeats the purpose does it not? A true story often can be far better than something that is made up.

My story goes back nearly 48 years and I honestly do not think I've the time to put it all here. So I'll just go into the story of now and how I want the future chapters of my story to be read. And it's not easy to write the story of our lives these days - especially when life took one REALLY BLOODY BIG PLOT TWIST nearly a year ago and life slowed down and almost came to a stand still. I look back at the past year and see a brief series of short stories - snap shots that can be held in a hand and looked over with a glance. And for a while there, I struggled with that. In a way, I still do. How do I keep writing my story when there is so much less content to fill each day? And I persevere, I keep trying to find a way to find a life that is fulfilling and worthy of being placed into my book. Maybe my story isn't that interesting anymore and wouldn't reach a broad audience or appeal to the masses and I'm actually okay with that now. Because I'm slowly learning that while it's okay to be an open book - perhaps it's better to leave some of the chapters sealed, to reserve the right to leave some of my story untold.

We all rely on social media these days to tell our stories, to share the things we do with the world because that's easiest - and as our worlds get so much smaller, it's the one way to reach out to others safely and feel connected. But as with all things, the lines between non fiction and fiction become so blurred. We share the highs but not the lows, we think we are being open and transparent yet still hold back from much of the reality because we know people don't WANT to read the reality. And there comes a point when sharing the things we think people might be interested in becomes less about openness and more about a crave for attention. A feeding of the ego, a drink of attention. Anything, something is better than nothing right? And we all do it, let us be honest. We share because it makes us look like our lives are more than what they are. The content becomes less about quality and more blah blah blah. Words to fill a void that often appears to be so vast and devoid of genuine reality. And at that point, it just becomes noise.

When that realization kicked in for me, I discovered that I felt more comfortable telling my story to a much smaller audience and needed to experience the value of privacy in a world that feels so public. Yes, I know that's oddly ironic as I sit here and type out a blog about all of this. And as usual, I'll post this blog on my business page but the thing is, I actually don't have the expectation that anyone will read it and that's fine by me. It's more about putting my thoughts down to sift through at my own leisure and maybe if someone reads it, they might understand and feel the same. Maybe it will open a private line of communication that helps someone who feels like they are struggling in the void to write their own story.

I no longer want my life to be an open book. I no longer feel the need to seek validation or have my ego fed about posting all that I do, every day on social media. No-one needs to read all the time about what I eat, what I create, what I watch, what I see, what I do. I don't need people to say to me "pretty bird, pretty bird" if I post a selfie or something I've done.  And that has been so FREEING! That realization that I can live my life and work on my story quietly without having to shout to all and sundry every single sentence or chapter as it's being written. That maybe now and then it's okay to offer a glimpse but not throw the book out there for everyone to see before it has been finished. So I step back from my personal social media account and figure if anyone wants my story, they can reach out to me the old fashioned way. Now I can be my own editor and share something of relevance if and when I feel the need to do so. I can be happy knowing that my private life is now off limits to those whom no longer need access to all I do and I can share quietly the non fiction version of myself with the people who truly value who I am. And I can post on my business page in order to grow in that aspect without compromising my privacy on a personal level.

Because I alone am the author. It's up to me to write my story in a way that I see fit and not let anyone else try to write it for me. And I'll decide each day whether it's a thriller, a rom com or a drama (most days it's a comic book with two beagles and a husband whom make me laugh!) And while the story might be quiet these days, it's not over and it hasn't ended. Now it's is time to finish this chapter and get on with writing a new one (spoiler, it's got something to do with laundry and maybe a beverage) - maybe I'll share more eventually but for now, I'm happy as a clam to enjoy the peace and plonk away at my story and live my life with more privacy, more productivity and let the plot twists happen at their own pace.

That my friends is the story. For now.

Sam.